You've got a friend 1
by mandyg67
Summary: More than eight months after Meredith disappeared, Alex gets a phone call from a nurse at a San Diego hospital. Missing scene from 11 x 22.
1. Chapter 1

Alex was sleeping soundly when the phone rang. He stirred. "Jo, will you get it?"

"Okay." Jo also woke from a sound sleep. She didn't get the phone until the fourth try. "Alex, it's for you."

"Who is it?"

"She says she's a nurse and she needs to speak with you."

"Okay," said Alex, thinking it was a nurse at Seattle Grace.

"Is this Alex Karev?  
"Yes.."

"I'm Nurse Nancy Oliver at UC San Diego Hospital."

Alex woke up 100%. He didn't know why someone was calling from San Diego, but it was unlikely to be good. "And why are you calling me?"

"You were listed as the emergency contact for Meredith Grey."

Alex's heart started to pound. A medical emergency and Meredith Grey was not a good combination. "How is she?" he asked nervously.

"She is in surgery now."

"Surgery?" Jo looked at him, puzzled at the turn the conversation was taking. It didn't sound like a work call.

"She's having an emergency c-section. It would be great if you could get here as soon as possible. She needs some help with her children."

"A c-section?" Alex was astounded. He had been worried about Meredith since he had read her note, actually since she walked into the hospital and announced that Derek had died and then fainted. But he never dreamed that she could be pregnant.

"Yes."

"I'll take the first flight. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"That's great. We have the children in our 24 hour day care center."

"Okay. Thank you for calling. Can you call back when she's out of surgery?"

"Will do."

Alex looked at Jo.

"What was that about?"

"Meredith. She's in surgery in San Diego. She's having a baby."

"A baby?"

"Yes, I guess Derek knocked her up before he died. So she's having his baby. And being Meredith, she's having a medical emergency, so she's in surgery. So I'm going to take the first flight out."

He went on line and booked a flight. "I'm leaving at 7 a.m. I'll see how things are going. I may stay for a few days. I'll call Hunt in the morning, but it shouldn't be a problem."

"No, she needs you," said Jo.

"I know you've been jealous of her."

"No, not since Dr. Shepherd died. And having his baby without him, that's very sad."

"Her child is going to be loved. I hope she'll come back, and we can all help."

"Maybe you should call Amelia and Maggie."

"Not at 3 a.m. But it's a good idea. I'll call Owen first . Although I think we should keep this pretty quiet. Let's just tell Meredith's closest friends. I'll tell Arizona if she's up before I leave. I'll leave at 5 a.m. You can tell Callie, Bailey, and Richard. I can call from the airport. It would be nice to get the house ready for a new baby. Derek wanted a houseful."

"It's so sad that he'll never see this baby."  
"I know. Meredith's leaving makes more sense now. I guess I'm not going to get back to bed. But you should. You have work tomorrow. "

Alex packed his clothes and toiletries and then went downstairs. He wanted Jo to sleep, so he started packing some reading material. He made coffee and had some breakfast, and then he headed out to the airport. He drove carefully, thinking of Derek, who died en route to the airport. He imagined it must have been tough for Meredith to fly to San Diego with her children. After he checked in, he called Hunt.

"Good morning, Owen, Karev here."

"It's awfully early to be calling."

"I need to take leave for up to a week."

"Why?"

"Meredith needs me."

"You heard from her."

"Not exactly. I'm her emergency contact. I think she's going to be fine," Alex assured Owen.

"Think? What's wrong with her?"

"She had a c-section."

"C-section?"

"Apparently, she was pregnant when she left. Anyway, I haven't spoken to her, just the nurse, and I'm leaving now. So I need some time off. I'll have a better sense after I speak with her."

"Go ahead. Take all the time you need. Should I tell Amelia?"

"Sure. That would be great. I don't know Meredith's plans, so we should probably limit it to those close to her. I don't want to be violating her privacy."

"Sure. Let her know that we all want her back here."  
"Don't worry about that. My goal is to get her to come home. It's a good sign that she listed me as her emergency contact."


	2. Chapter 2

Owen walked over to Meredith's house and knocked on the door. Amelia answered the door. She was dressed, as if she was getting ready to head out to school.

"Owen. What's up?" She looked worried, as if she was remembering the moment he told her of her brother's death.

"I have some good news this time, Amelia."

"Good news?"

"Karev got word about Meredith. She just had another baby. She's in San Diego, and he's on his way to help."

"Another baby?" Amelia was astounded.

"Yes. She had an emergency c-section, so Karev's gone down to help, and he's going to try to convince her to come back."

"Derek has another baby." Amelia said slowly, tears falling down her cheeks.

"Yes."

"He would have been so happy to have another baby. He loved children."

"Yes, he was a great dad."

"It's hard to grow up without a dad."

"I know."

"No wonder Meredith left. I get that. It was hard for me when I first found out I was pregnant after Ryan died. Everyone knowing my baby's father was dead. Everyone being worried about me."

"Well, I told Karev to bring her back. She'll have a big support group here."

"Well, I'm a live-in babysitter. I've missed Zola and Bailey so much. Being in this big house alone is really rough."

"I'm sure. No wonder you usually sleep at the hospital."

"This house is all Derek. He built it. Everything reminds me of him."

"It's good to remember the people you love, Amelia."

"I know. I wonder if I should go to San Diego. Zola must be so excited to be a big sister again."

"Let's wait till we hear from Karev. He was her emergency contact."

"I've never been close to Meredith. I lived in her home for months, and she left, just leaving a note."

"Don't feel bad about that. She didn't even call Cristina, and Cristina is her best friend. People handle grief differently. Meredith and I were never close, but everyone knew she really loved Derek. She was like a living ghost after he died. This time away may have been good for her."

"At least she got a lot of sunshine. San Diego is great. I used to visit San Diego when I lived in L.A. Speaking of LA., I'm going to call Addison and let her know we found Meredith."

"Addison?"

"Derek's first wife."

"I know, but why call her?"

"She was very worried about Meredith. It's weird, I know, but Addie likes Meredith, and we were all worried about Zola and Bailey."

"Meredith loves those kids."

"I know. I just didn't think it was a good idea to rip them from their friends and family when they were grieving for their dad. When my dad died, my mom never considered leaving our family house. She still lives there. Routine was good for us. But I guess I shouldn't judge."

"Like I said, Meredith and I were never close, but she was very close to Cristina, so I know her well. She is very stubborn, and she doesn't like being told what to do."

"Sounds like me."

"In some ways. Anyway, Karev is going to see if he can get her to come home. We may need to do some work to get the house ready for a new baby."

"We can stock up on Pampers. I can see whether they have baby stuff left from Bailey. But I'm not sure Meredith wants me going through her stuff." Amanda said, a bit worried about the potential fall-out with her sister-in-law.

"Probably not. But I don't think babies need much to start. Let's just make sure the baby has a place to sleep, and diapers. And maybe Karev will let us know what else she wants us to do."

"Sounds like a plan."

"And congratulations on your new niece or nephew."

Amelia smiled. "Thanks for the good news." She may never have had a close relationship with Meredith, but she adored Zola and Bailey, and a new Shepherd baby was exciting. She thought about call her mother, but she decided against it. She'd wait to see what Karev told them. The last thing Meredith needed was Carolyn Shepherd flying to San Diego and showing up to help. Amelia loved her mother, and she knew her mother's heart was broken by Derek's death. A new baby would give her comfort, but Carolyn might overwhelm Meredith, who may still be fragile. Amelia decided to wait until Meredith said it was okay to call her mom.


	3. Chapter 3

Alex realized that he still hadn't heard from the hospital. A c-section usually takes half an hour tops, so he was worried. He called the hospital and asked for Nurse Oliver.

"Hi, this is Dr. Karev. I'm calling to get an update on Meredith Grey."

"I'm sorry I didn't have a chance to call. She is out of surgery, and she is doing well. She had a baby girl."

"Thanks. I should be there by 2 p.m. at the latest. I got a 7 a.m. flight, but I have to change in LA."

"No problem. See you then."

Alex then called Maggie. "It's Alex."

"What's up?"

"Meredith has surfaced. I'm on my way to see her. It turns out she was pregnant; she just had a baby girl."

"Have you spoken to her?"

"No, I got a call from a nurse. I'm her emergency contact. Anyway, I just spoke to the nurse again, and Meredith and the baby are both fine."

"So she disappeared to have a baby."

"I'm going to make sure she comes back here."

"Good. Please let her know I send my best wishes, and I'd be happy to come and visit."

"Will do."

Alex smiled. He had spoken to Hunt and Maggie, and he had gotten the latest info from the hospital. He texted Jo and Hunt to let them both know that the baby was a girl and Meredith was doing fine.

Meanwhile, at the Dream House, Hunt was still talking with Amelia when he saw the text. "That was Karev. You have a niece, and Meredith is doing well."

"Derek would have loved another little girl."

"Yes. We're all going to have to be there for Meredith and her kids. I'm sure it's going to be tough for all of them, but we can help. " Hunt bid Amelia good-bye as he went to work.

Amelia went to the phone and called Addie.

"Hi Amelia, it's awful early for you to be calling. Is everything okay?"

"Things are great. I thought you'd want to know that we've gotten word about Meredith. She just had a baby girl in San Diego."

"Meredith had another baby?"

"Yes. Apparently she disappeared so she could be alone for her pregnancy. Karev was her emergency contact, so he's on the way to see her. And maybe bring her and all the kids back."

"Amelia, are you happy that Derek has another baby?"

"I'm in shock, Addie. It's been so weird to be here in Derek's dream house by myself, no Derek, no Meredith, no Zola, no Bailey. I usually sleep at the hospital. This house is full of Derek. I get why Meredith left. I know what it's like to be pregnant with a dead man's baby. And really, when I was pregnant, none of you cared about Ryan. You only cared about me. I know it would have been hard for her to stay here, carrying Derek's child, all of us feeling sorry for her. And it sounds like she is has a healthy baby, so she's lucky in that."

"Are you jealous of Meredith? I would understand if you are. She has three children, and your baby died."

"How can I be jealous of Meredith? If Derek wasn't my brother, I might be jealous. But the baby is my niece, another person to remember Derek with."

"Do you know which hospital she went to?"

"No, but probably the best one there, I would expect."

"Do you think I should visit her?"

"Ask Alex. He's the only person she's spoken to since she left. I don't think she's even spoken to Cristina."

"She really loved Derek."

"I know. So did I."

"I know. And Derek knew. And I'm sure you'll be a big help with Derek's kids, if Meredith lets you."

"Anyway, I thought you would want to know that Meredith is no longer missing."

"Thanks for letting me know. Strangely enough, I was worried about her."

"You're a good person, Addie, being worried about your ex-husband's wife."

"I'm lucky. I have Jake and Henry. It all worked out for me. And I feel terrible about Derek's death. He was a big part of my life, and I was happy we were able to stay friends after we divorced."

"Well, you're a great sister to me."

"Thanks."

Meanwhile, Jo was having breakfast when Arizona came downstairs. "Where's Karev? I thought I heard him leave early this morning."

"He's off to San Diego to see Meredith Grey."

"Meredith?"

"He was her emergency contact. Don't worry, it's nothing bad. She had a baby, Derek's baby, and had an emergency c-section. She's fine, and the baby's a girl."

"That's great."

"He's determined to bring her back to Seattle."

"Sofia would like that. Have you told Callie yet?"

"No, I was going to tell her when I got to work."

"I'll call her now." Arizona called on her phone.

"Hi Arizona, is everything okay?"

"Better than okay, Callie. Alex heard from Meredith, and she's in San Diego, and she just had a baby girl."

"A baby girl?"

"Yes, she disappeared for her pregnancy."

"It must have been very rough to go through the pregnancy alone."

"I guess she thought it was better to be alone than to be here, with all of us hovering over her. Jo said Alex plans to bring her back to Seattle."

"That would be good."


	4. Chapter 4

Meredith looked at her beautiful baby girl. Ellis had fallen asleep after breastfeeding. She was an amazingly easy baby. She already had curly black hair that reminded Meredith so much of her husband. She hugged the baby closer to her. And she realized what she had to do. She picked up her phone and searched her contacts for Carolyn Shepherd. It was fitting that the first person she told about her baby be Derek's mother.

The phone rang four times, and Meredith worried that Carolyn wouldn't be there. It was 11 a.m. in San Diego, and 2 p.m. in New York. But finally she heard Carolyn's voice. "Meredith is that you?" Carolyn was shocked to hear from her daughter-in-law. She hardly ever called, and she hadn't heard from her since the funeral. Her friend Alex had called several times asking if she had heard anything from Meredith, and the answer was always no. Amelia had also told her that she hadn't heard from Meredith since she left town. Carolyn had been hoping to spend some time with her son's children, but she thought Meredith would surface sometime. And today she had.

"Yes."

"We've been so worried about you, all of us. Are you okay?"

"I'm good. I have some good news for you. You have another granddaughter, Ellis Grey-Shepherd."

"You had a baby?" Carolyn was shocked. She had never imagined that Meredith might be pregnant.

"Yes, Derek and I had another baby. She looks just like him."

"That's wonderful." Carolyn thought for a moment. She wasn't sure what Meredith thought about death and religion; they had never talked about it. But Carolyn's strong religious faith gave her much comfort. "I don't know whether you believe in God, but I believe and I believe that Derek is in heaven, and he knows about his little girl. He is with his father, and Mark, and your sister Lexie, and they are all looking after you and the children."

Meredith didn't know what to say.

"Would you like me to come and help out with the children? Managing three children is a challenge."

"Thanks for offering to help. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. You will have an opportunity to meet Ellis and see Zola and Bailey soon. But right now I just wanted to let you know I had Derek's baby girl. I'll send you a photo by email."

"Thanks for calling. And if there is ever anything I can do to help, just call. I'll get a flight immediately. I know how hard it is being a single mom, and how hard it is to lose a husband you love. So please call anytime of day or night."

"Okay. Thank you. Good-bye."

Carolyn sat down and called Amelia. She was in surgery, but she called back an hour later. "Hi Mom, what's up?"

"Meredith called."

"That's great. Did she tell you about the baby?"

"Yes, when did you learn about the baby?"

"This morning. I was going to wait to call until we got a report from Alex. Her friend Alex was her emergency contact, so he is on his way to help out."

"I would have been happy to help."

"Me, too, Mom. I wish I'd known she was pregnant. It's great to know that Derek has another child."

"I can't wait to meet her."

"You haven't booked your ticket yet?"

"No, Meredith said she would let me know a good time to visit. And she just sent me a photo of the baby. I'll email it to you. She's beautiful, with a lot of black curls just like you and Derek."

"I'll give you a call after we hear back from Alex."

"Sounds good. Take care."


	5. Chapter 5

Meredith was still staring at Ellis. She was so beautiful, and Meredith thought she resembled Derek although she realized that newborns frequently change. Was her resemblance to Derek real or a mirage due to grief?

Then she heard a knock on the door, and a nurse came in with Bailey in her arms and Zola leading the way.

"Mommy," both children cried.

"Your eldest was very anxious to see you, so I thought it would be good for them to have lunch here. I'll go get the food." said the nurse. Meredith noticed her name, Angie Davidson.

"Thank you so much, Angie," Meredith replied. "Zola and Bailey, I'd like to introduce you to your sister, Ellis."

"Hi, Ellis," shouted Zola. "I'm your big sister."

"Use your indoor voice with the baby, sweetie."

"Okay, Mommy."

"Hi," whispered Bailey.

"You can come over and take a close look," explained Meredith, and the children stood right next to her. "Ellis, here is your brother Bailey and your sister Zola. They are going to help me take care of you. And they will play with you. And they will share their toys with you."

Meredith felt herself tearing up. Seeing her three children together was wonderful, but the moment was bittersweet. She missed Derek so much. He had loved bringing Zola to meet Bailey; she treasured her memories of those first moments as a family of four. But now Derek was gone, and they would never have even a minute as a family of five. He would never see his daughter Ellis and never see how Zola and Bailey greeted her. She thought for a moment about her mother-in-law's comments and how comforting it was to think Derek was in heaven watching over his family. And remembering her experience when she drowned, maybe Carolyn was right.

The nurse brought in the lunches, and she took Ellis to the nursery so Meredith could eat with her children.

Meanwhile, in Seattle, Callie sat down at lunch with Arizona. "Can you believe that Meredith had another baby without telling anyone?" 

"Sofia is going to be so happy to know that we heard about Zola. She will be jealous that Zola has a baby sister."

"Yes, Sofia will be both thrilled to hear about Zola. Not a day has gone by without Sofia asking about Zola. Although we still can't answer her question: when will Zola come home. But maybe Sofia can talk to her tonight."

"That would be great. I'll ask Alex about that."

"Do you think we should send flowers?"

"Flowers?" asked April as she sat down beside them. "Who should get flowers? Why?"

Callie and Arizona looked into each other's eyes. April hadn't heard the news. Arizona nodded to Callie, indicating that she was going to break the news.  
"Meredith."

"You've heard from Meredith? That's great."

"Yes, it is great." Arizona paused. "Alex heard from her last night because he's her emergency contact."

"Emergency contact? That doesn't sound good."

"Meredith had a baby," said Arizona softly.

"A baby?" asked April.

"Yes, a baby girl."

"What a miracle," whispered April. She knew she shouldn't be jealous of Meredith; she had Jackson whom she adored, and she knew Meredith was devastated by Derek's death. But still she wished her son had lived, and Meredith had three children. "I'm sure she found the pregnancy a comfort."

"I don't know about that," said Callie. "Maybe it's what drove her to leave. It must have been hard for her to go through the pregnancy without Derek and knowing how much he would have enjoyed having another baby."

"I don't think she needs flowers," said Arizona. "But maybe we could do a google calendar and provide childcare and food when she returns to Seattle."

"Food is good. Meredith can't cook. But will they return to Seattle?" Callie asked.

"I think so. Otherwise, why would she have listed Alex as her emergency contact? "

"Good point, Arizona. I know he's planning on bringing her home."

"Maybe we should send flowers or something else to let her know how much we miss her and want her back," commented April.

"I'll send flowers on behalf of all of us," said Arizona. "And tell her we hope she comes home soon, and I'll tell her we have a google calendar for her."

"And I have off this week-end, so maybe I'll take Sofia down to San Diego, and we can help out."

"That's a great idea," said Arizona.


	6. Chapter 6

Alex sat at the San Francisco airport waiting for his connection to San Diego. He wished he had managed to get a seat on a nonstop flight, but the early nonstop flights were booked. He knew Meredith was in the hospital, and her children were there as well, so a couple of hours wouldn't make a difference. Then he realized that he had one more person to call to share the news.

"Alex, have you heard from Meredith?" were the first words out of Cristina Yang's mouth. Since Meredith disappeared, the two spoke weekly, and the first words were always about Meredith.

"Yes, she's in San Diego, and I'm on my way there. She just had a baby girl."

"A baby?"

"Yes, I was her emergency contact. I guess she wanted someone who was at least in the USA."

"She didn't tell me she was pregnant."

"She didn't tell anyone we know. She just vanished with Zola, Bailey, and her fetus. Apparently, she went for sunshine. I don't know if she'd ever been in San Diego before."

"Not that I know of. It was a lot for her to deal with on her own."

"I know. I guess she wanted to disappear somewhere where she wasn't a widow. She could be just a single mom."

"But going to her doctor's appointments alone, that must have been tough for her. Derek was there every step of the way when she was pregnant with Bailey."

"And there was no super storm this time. But, being Meredith, she had an emergency c-section. But the nurse said she's fine. And I'm going to try to drag her home."

"I'm in the midst of a big trial, but let me know if you think she would want me to visit."

"Will do."

Meanwhile, in Seattle, April approached Jackson as he exited O.R. 2. She grabbed his arm and brought him to an on-call room. "What's up, April?" he asked.

"Did you hear the news?"

"What news? I don't think so."

"Meredith has turned up."

"Is she back?"

"No, she's in San Diego."

"Is she okay?" Jackson had been concerned about Meredith. She had just vanished, and things hadn't been the same since she left. He thought of Alex's pathetic Christmas party; it was a far cry from the parties that Meredith and Derek had thrown. Although those parties often went astray, he thought, as he remembered Owen yelling at Cristina for killing their baby at the party for Zola's first birthday.

"I think so. Alex got called because he's her emergency contact. Meredith had a baby." April spoke with a sense of wonder. "Dr. Shepherd is a father again."

"Wow," exclaimed Jackson. "That is amazing." He looked at April. "Are you okay?"

"I'm all right." She nodded. "I do feel a little jealous, to be honest. I'm only telling you because you're my husband. And I know it's wrong. I mean, Meredith lost Derek, and she loved him to pieces. But at least she has another baby to remember him with."

"And we don't have any children, yet," said Jackson. "I'm ready to try when you want to."

"I don't know if I can. I couldn't take losing another baby."

"While you were off in army, I did some research. We could do IVF and do genetic testing on the embryos."

"I don't think I can do that."

"We might be able to do the testing on the sperm and eggs separately, before conception. That could work."

"Maybe."

"Or we could adopt. There are lots of babies that need homes."

"We can think about it. I'm not sure I'm ready yet, but soon, I'll be ready soon."


	7. Chapter 7

Amelia spotted Arizona sitting in the cafeteria, working on her IPAD. "What are you up to?" she asked as she sat down with her lunch.

"I'm working on a google calendar for Meredith."

"Why?"

"I'm scheduling meals and childcare help for Meredith on a calendar. It's to entice her to return from San Diego. By the way, congratulations on becoming an aunt again."

"Thanks," said Amelia. "But I'm furious with Meredith."

"Furious?"

"She must have known about this baby when she left. She never let me know that she was pregnant with my brother's child. And she took Zola and Bailey away. I love those kids."

"I understand. I was pretty pissed, too. Poor Sofia keeps asking every day when Zola is going to be coming home. The two girls have always been close. And she's missing Derek as well. He was the closest thing she had to a father since Mark died. He loved telling her stories about Mark."

"I'd be happy to tell her stories about Mark, if you want. Mark was my big brother, too. I loved following the two of them around. And now they're both gone." Amelia was crestfallen, thinking about both Derek and Mark.

"It's heartbreaking."

"Yeah."

"Well, if you want to see Zola and Bailey, not to mention the new baby, we've got to persuade Meredith to come home. I want them to come back, which is why I'm doing the google calendar. And this is for extra help, so you don't need to participate. When Callie and I were thinking of having a second child, we realized that we were very lucky when Sofia was born because we had three adults for one child, the two of us and Mark. He was always great with Sofia. And three adults to one child is a great ratio. I can't imagine three children and one adult, Meredith's situation now."

"I want to yell at Meredith. She should have called me as soon as she heard about Derek's injury. I should have had a chance to see him before she pulled the plug."

"I agree. You have lots of good reasons to be mad at Meredith. But you know that you're really furious with the driver who drove into your brother's car."

"Yes, but."

"But it all comes back to the driver. If Derek's car hadn't been hit, you'd have no reason at all to be mad at Meredith.

Amelia met Arizona' eyes and nodded. "That may be but I'm still mad at Meredith. I was always close to Addison. She was a big sister to me, better than any of my own sisters, and I have three sisters. But Meredith is hard to get to know."

"I know."

"But you're sitting her working on a google calendar for her."

"I spent four of the worst days of my life with Meredith. We have a bond. And now it's just the two of us here, with Cristina in Switzerland."

"You were in the plane crash together," Amelia realized.

"Yes. And Lexie, Mark, and Derek are all gone."

"My mom would say that they are together now."

"Yeah. I like to think of them being together, guardian angels for Sofia."

"And Zola and Bailey and the new baby. Derek would be thrilled. It's so unfair that he never knew about the new baby."

"You're right. But we have to be here to help Meredith."


	8. Chapter 8

Meredith was again staring at baby Ellis with tears in her eyes. She wished Derek were here with her. He would have been overjoyed with another daughter. Alex had stopped by with Zola and Bailey to say good night as he took the kids back to the apartment for the night. She was happy she had named Alex as her emergency contact; she had known he would come to help her. She was happy that he was with Zola and Bailey. Now Meredith was alone with her third child, the one Derek never even knew about. She heard a knock at the door and said, "Come in."

She was speechless when she saw the person at the door. "Addison?" she asked after a few minutes.

"Good evening, Meredith. And I take it this is your daughter?"

"Yes, this is Ellis," Meredith said softly, questions floating through her mind. How did Addison know she was here? And why was she here?

"Amelia called to let me know that you were in San Diego, and you had just had a baby."

Meredith nodded. She knew her sister-in-law was very close to Addison.

"And when she told me you had a baby, I knew had to come and check you out myself."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. I care about you, and I care about Derek's baby."

"Seriously?" Meredith repeated.

"Yes. I'm happily married now," Addison said, regretting her words as they flew out of her mouth. Meredith was now a widow, not married at all, and Addison thought she had been cruel, mentioning her own happiness. But she pushed on. "I never blamed you for the end of my marriage to Derek. If I hadn't slept with Mark, he never would have moved out to Seattle and met you. But once he met you, he loved you."

Meredith met Addison's eyes. "That's sweet of you to say. I'll always remember that night at Joe's, when he was with Rose, and you told me that you wanted to kick my ass."

Addison chuckled. "Yes, it was fine that my marriage ended if it meant Derek to had true love with you. I couldn't bear it if our marriage ended for him go off with that doe-eyed nurse."

Meredith smiled as she remembered their conversation from years ago. "So why are you really here?"

"Just what I said – to check both you and the baby out. If you give your consent, I'll check you both. I want to do that for Derek. I miss him. He was a good friend to me after the divorce; he saved my brother's life. I owe him. And I thought this was the least I could do. I am the best, after all, and I want to confirm that everything is fine with both you and the baby."

"She looks like Derek," Meredith said. "You can check her out, if you want."

Addison approached Meredith, and took the baby from her. "She's beautiful. And she resembles Derek. Her hair is dark, like his, and her eyes resemble his."

Addison had tears in her eyes as she examined her ex-husband's daughter.

"Yes, I see him in her."

"I think everyone is thrilled you had this baby, another child with Derek."

Meredith did not respond. Addison looked at her, concerned about what she was thinking. "I think everyone understands that you needed some time on your own. But it must have been hard going through the pregnancy without Derek and without any of your friends or family."

"Everyone we know reminds me of Derek."

"I'm sorry. I'm sure I remind you of Derek as well," said Addison, flustered.

"So do my children. Everything reminds me of Derek. There's not an hour that goes by when I don't think of him. So don't worry about it."

Addison wasn't quite sure what to answer. But she took the baby over to a table, and took out her stethoscope and listed to the baby's strong heart. She examined the baby thoroughly, even taking off her diaper and closely examining the stump from the umbilical cord. "Ellis looks great."

"Her Apgars were perfect."

"That's wonderful. Derek would have been thrilled. He was overjoyed every time a new niece or nephew was born. We had to be the first aunt and uncle to get to the hospital to greet the new baby." Addison's eyes filled with tears.

"I always wondered why you never had children."

"You mean with Derek, right?" Meredith nodded. "We were both busy with our careers, and it was never the right time. And then we didn't want to bring a baby into the world if we weren't together." And again Addison wished she had bitten her tongue. "I meant if we were unhappy together."

"I know what you mean, Addison, it's okay. I always wondered if he would have fallen in love with me if you had children together. So for me, it worked out well that you didn't. We did have years together, and we have three children."

Addison nodded. "Is it okay if I look at your chart?"

"Go ahead."

"Here's Ellis," Addison said, as she put the baby back in her mother's arms.

Meredith smiled as she looked at her daughter's face.

"So you had a placental abruption."

"Yes."

"You were really lucky."

"Yes, if you mean for both of us to survive in such good shape."

"How did you wind up getting to the hospital so quickly?"

"Zola called 911."

"What a smart girl. You and Derek have done a great job with her."

"She's great. But she misses her daddy." Meredith frowned. She had had the opportunity to reconnect with her father as an adult, not that it had gone well, but still she had had the chance. And she still had the chance to try again, if she wanted. But Zola would never see her father again.

"I'm sure she does. Derek must have been an amazing dad. He always wanted a houseful of children."

"Well, he got his houseful," Meredith said with a smile. "I just wish he was here to enjoy them."

"You and me both," said Addison. "Not to mention all your friends and family. You're going to need help, with three children and recovering from major abdominal surgery."

"I know. Alex told me to call Derek's mom."

"Did you call?"

"I called her before Alex got here to let her know about Ellis."

"She must have been thrilled about the new grandchild."

"I think so. She did offer to come and help."

"She never liked me, but I know she likes you."

Meredith looked at Addison with questions in her eyes.

"When I came to Seattle with my brother, Mark told me that Mrs. Shepherd had given Derek a ring. She hadn't given him the ring when we got engaged."

"She probably thought you wanted a bigger diamond," suggested Meredith.

"I would rather have had his mother's approval," commented Addison.

"I never wore the ring. I got married on a post-it and then in a judge's chamber. We never invited his mother to our house while Derek was alive. The first time she came to our house was after the funeral."

Addison saw Meredith had tears in her eyes. "It's okay, Meredith. Carolyn lost her husband. She knows what it's like to lose the love of your life. Everyone knows you loved Derek. But you're going to need help. You can't manage three children and recover from major abdominal surgery."

"I thought I could hire a baby nurse."

"You should do that, but your children would enjoy having their grandma spoil them. And Carolyn is a marvelous grandmother. I've seen her with her other grandchildren. You should call her again. I'm sure she offered to help earlier."

"Yes."

"So take her up on the offer. Unless you're planning on going back to Seattle when you get discharged."

"That's what Alex wants me to do."

"Do you want to relocate to San Diego?"

"I really hadn't thought that far ahead. I was afraid I'd die in childbirth. I almost died with Bailey."

"And then what would happen to your children?"

"After Lexie and Mark died, we changed our wills. We made Derek's sisters Kathleen and Lizzie the guardians. But maybe we – no – I should change it to Amelia. It would be better for them to stay in Seattle." Meredith frowned. She still thought in terms of "we," meaning Derek and herself, when it came to the children.

"Amelia's Henry's guardian. She is great with children."

"What about Lizzie and Kathleen?"

"They're great, too. I noticed you said nothing about Nancy."

"Well, I think you're still her favorite sister-in-law," Meredith chuckled.

"Nancy loved Derek, even if she didn't show it the way he'd like. And she told me that she felt guilty for treating you so badly. It was a bad introduction to the Shepherd family. Everyone misses Derek and is eager to help you, even Nancy."

"Well, I won't be calling her. I have a couple of days to think about what I want to do. Alex said he'd stay and help until I'm discharged."

"Can I look at your incision?"

"Sure. Go ahead."

Addison examined the incision and felt Meredith's abdomen. "You look good."

"Thanks for checking me out."

"I had to do it for Derek, Meredith. I owe him that much. And I'm happy to help you. L.A. is not far away."

"What about traffic?"

"As long as you avoid rush hour, it's not bad. I'm happy to come visit when I'm off."

"Thanks. I'm glad you came."

"Me, too. Give me your phone, and I'll enter my contact info. You can call me anytime of day to talk, and I'm happy to come here, or Seattle."

"Okay. I really appreciate your help. And, it's weird, after all the two of us have been through, but it's good to be with someone who also remembers Derek."

"We both loved him. It's a long time since we were married, but we were friends after we got divorced, and I miss him. I wish I could call him and tell him how perfect Ellis is."

"Me, too."

"So let's stay in touch. Don't vanish again."

"I don't think Alex will let him. He's probably installed a tracker on my phone."

"I wouldn't blame him. All your friends in Seattle must have missed you and your children."

"I did what I had to do for my sanity. But maybe I'll go home now."

"I'm sure no one will hold a grudge about your disappearing, particularly after they meet Ellis. She's a real charmer."

"Just like her daddy."

"Yes. I must say you did charm Derek."

"Thanks."

"Anyway, I'm sure you need your rest, so I'll get going, but call if there's anyting I can do."

"Will do."


	9. Chapter 9

Meredith was sleeping when she felt the nurse taking her vitals. "Good morning. I'm Tonya Gooden, your nurse this morning. Dr. Wilkins will be in a minute. And I'll bring your baby in a few minutes."

"Thank you."

A few minutes later the doctor and three interns arrived. "Good morning, Meredith," said a doctor. She was an older woman, with greying hair. Meredith frowned when she heard her first name; she preferred Dr. Grey when she was in a hospital, but she called her patients by their first names so she really couldn't complain. "I'm Dr. Wilkins. I was your surgeon yesterday."

"Thank you for everything you did."

"We're having rounds, so the interns are going to present your case."

"I know. I'm a surgeon myself."

The first intern was Asian, with long black hair running down her back. The interns did not introduce themselves. Meredith remembered the numerous times when she was an intern and then a resident that she had not introduced herself to a patient. She vowed to do better when she returned to practicing medicine. But she decided to let it go rather than try to teach the interns herself. "Patient had a placental abruption followed by an emergency C-section. The baby is fine; she had perfect Apgars. We were able to save the mother's uterus, and she is doing well. We need to watch out for any infections, but we should be able to discharge her in two or three days."

"I'd like to go home tomorrow," announced Meredith.

"We would prefer to observe you for another two days," responded Dr. Wilkins. "You just had major abdominal surgery. You were very lucky we were able to save your uterus. I would recommend that you wait at least twelve months before having another pregnancy. You can have a safe pregnancy, but you are at great risk for another abruption."

Meredith was in shock at the thought of another pregnancy. "Don't worry, I'm not having any more children."

The doctor laughed. "Lots of mothers say that, but they often change their mind."

Meredith frowned. "You don't understand. I just had a third child."

"The chart indicates that you had just two pregnancies," said another intern.

"My oldest daughter is adopted."

"You may change your mind in a couple of years," cautioned Dr. Wilkins. "Lots of moms do."

"You really don't understand." Meredith decided to tell the doctor the truth. "My husband, the love of my life, is dead. There's no way I'm having any more children." The doctor and the interns immediately became silent.

Dr. Wilkins then said, "I'm very sorry for your loss. Is there anything we can do for you?"

Meredith nodded at the doctor's expression of sympathy. She hated the stock expressions of sympathy, but she had given many herself. "You can discharge me tomorrow. My emergency contact is a pediatric surgeon, and he's staying until Saturday, and then my friend Callie is coming, and she's an orthopedic surgeon. And I think I'm going to have mother-in-law come on Sunday. She was a navy nurse for more than twenty years, so we'll get good medical care."

Then the nurse came in with the baby in a bassinet. "Here's your daughter. She slept well, but I think she's going to want to eat soon."

Meredith smiled as she looked at her daughter. Dr. Wilkins and the interns also looked at the baby. The bassinette bore her name, Ellis Alexandria Shepherd.

Dr. Wilkins looked at Meredith. "Your husband was Dr. Derek Shepherd, right?"

Meredith frowned. She much preferred to be anonymous, but she couldn't deny the truth. "Yes."

"His death was a terrible loss."

"I know," Meredith said softly.

"For medicine as well as for your family."

"I know. I worked with him."

"Right. I met him a couple of times at conferences. He was very impressive. And gorgeous." Dr. Wilkins smiled. "I knew he was taken, so I left him alone."

Meredith stared at the doctor, who met her eyes and decided to explain, "This was a long time ago, when he was married to Addison Montgomery Shepherd and went to cocktail parties at ACOG conferences when they were held in New York."

"Addie was here last night to visit," Meredith commented.

Dr. Wilkins looked stunned; apparently she was taken aback at the friendly relationship between the two wives of Derek Shepherd. "Give her my regards if you see her again."

"I will." Meredith smiled as she thought about her husband's good looks and the impression they made on women.

"Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you."

"Just discharge me tomorrow."

"How about we touch base tomorrow, and if all goes well and you still want to be discharged, we may be able to do that."

"Good. Thank you." Meredith watched the doctor and the interns leave. She knew that, if this hospital was anything like Grey Sloan, that within five minutes everyone on staff at the hospital would know she was Derek Shepherd's widow.

The nurse turned to her, and asked, "Would you like to hold the baby?"

"Yes, please give her to me."

And the nurse placed the baby in her arms. "Call me if you need any help."

"I will. We'll be fine together." Meredith smiled and looked at her baby, who was starting to root around to start feeding. The nurse left, and Meredith began nursing the baby. She started murmuring to the baby. "This time I know what I'm doing. So I'll help you. It's a lot easier when the mommy has experience. The baby never does." Ellis started nursing.

Meredith continued. "So why did I name you Ellis? What was I thinking? Shepherd is not an unusual name, but it does seem like people in the medical field know your daddy. And I had to give you his last name. I know it's hard to have a great doctor as a parent. My mommy was a great doctor. Grey's a common name, but a lot of people guessed or knew she was my mom. So being identified as Derek Shepherd's daughter is going to be hard enough, so why did I name you after my mom?" 

Meredith thought for a moment. "I was on pain medication after the C-section, so we could blame it on drugs. But really, I've been spending a lot of time thinking about my mom. We have a lot in common, strangely enough. I left my family in Seattle, just like my mom did when she had your aunt Maggie. She kept her pregnancy secret because in the old days having a baby out of wedlock was scandalous, and Maggie was obviously not my father's daughter. The scandal would have hurt both my mom and Richard. My reasons were different, and I always knew I was going to keep you. I loved you starting the minute I thought I might be pregnant. I loved your daddy so much, sweetie, and he loved me. And he wanted you so much. I just couldn't bear staying in Seattle and being pitied for being pregnant when my husband was dead."

She switched the baby to the other breast. "So what do you think I should do, Ellie? Should we go back to Seattle or stay here, where it's sunny? Would you like rain? I could take you on ferryboat rides in Seattle. Would you like that?" She looked at the baby's eyes, and she smiled. "I don't even know if you can focus yet. But I think you'd like to go on a ferryboat ride with Zola and Bailey. You know I didn't have sisters until I was a grown up, so I don't know much about siblings in childhood. I would have depended on your daddy. He was one of five, a big family. But maybe Aunt Amy will help me."

Meredith frowned as she thought about her sister-in-law. Somehow her relationship with Amelia was fraught. And for the last nine months, since Derek died, she kept thinking of Amelia's words to her: "You have never lost the love of your life. You don't know how that messes you up. Till you've done that I need you to cut me some slack and back the hell off." She knew Amelia hadn't wanted anything bad to happen to Derek, and she knew there was no causal relationship between Amelia's remarks and Derek's death, but still she had felt uncomfortable with her sister-in-law. But she had depended so much on Amelia's help with the kids since she had arrived in Seattle, and the kids adored her. She would have to make peace with Amelia if she did return to Seattle.

"I guess your Aunt Amy will adore you. She's great with kids. And you look so much like your Daddy. No matter what she thinks of me, she will love you so much. I think we'll go home to Seattle, sweetie. Everyone is going to adore you. And everyone will be happy that I have you. I am so thrilled to have you. I just wish your daddy were here to see you. But maybe your grandma is right, and he can see you from heaven. Do you like to think that?" Ellis gurgled. "Yes, you like to think about your daddy in heaven. So do I."


End file.
